Passing Days

Sometimes the day goes by so slowly, like when the boys are being naughty, tiresome and trying. In those situations, I try to "get by" watching the clock and knowing that "soon it'll be lunch time, " and after that naps, and then Daddy will be home... I suppose that during the frustrations of the longer days, I don't really absorb the movements and goings on in my boys' lives the way a truly grateful person would. I try to "make it through" until Daddy comes home instead of thriving on the zest for life that my boys have. I don't smile as often or laugh as much; I yell and get angry too easily. I let whole days slip away as though it never occurred to me that I will never get that day back.

And then the boys go to sleep, and I have to do everything in my power not to disturb their slumber. I want to see them, touch them, kiss them and relish the quiet in them. I look down on them in their cribs and tears come to my eyes knowing that they are about to be one day older; knowing that the days of sleeping in cribs is even coming to a close. In the night I want time to slow down, the opposite of what a difficult day would hope for. I guess in the quiet I realize that they are gifts I don't deserve, and that even the "difficulty" they may be on some days is a gift! I want to change my thinking so that no matter what the situation, or how tired or nerve-wrecked I am I see them as gifts not to be taken for granted; and not for time to pass by. I need to see them with Jesus' eyes; even more than with a mother's eyes.